The Moment I Learned (Black Lives Matter)

I have been thinking about what I want to share related to the continued racial unrest in our country for some time. I wanted to share something that would enlighten others on the issues of race in our nation. I decided to share the moment I learned that people saw me as less than….

I have always been type of person that loves people. No matter your color or economic status I was taught to love people and treat people the way I want to be treated. When I was 7 years old my grandparents moved to a new neighborhood in Kinston, NC. I stayed with them a lot because my mother was single parent and worked nights and weekends. Up until that time, I lived in an all African-American neighborhood. I would walk to Mr. Boone’s store to buy candy and around the corner to my aunt’s hair salon. I would play with my friend across the street or sit on the porch with my elderly neighbor (Mrs. Annie Lee) to watch the cars go by. Then one day, the move happen! I was suddenly thrust into a new neighborhood. My grandparents bought a nice home in a section of town I didn’t know existed. My grandparents were in their 60’s but wanted to fulfill their dream of home ownership. This nice quiet neighborhood would also be where I learned that black means being less than.

Our neighbors across the street were two really nice Caucasian ladies. I don’t remember their names but, to this day I have fond memories of them. I would visit their house just to sit and talk. The neighbors to the right of us were amazing people. The wife worked with my mom at Carolina Telephone and their son, who was a few years older than me, would make me sandwiches and allow me to follow him on his bike when he did his paper route. Then there were the neighbors behind us. One day I was riding my bike and I happen to pass by this house. The father was outside. As I passed the yard he yelled out, ” Don’t let your bike touch my grass”. Well, I was nowhere near his grass and I wondered why he would say such a thing. He had a young son who would play with me and the other kids in the neighborhood. Well, until he heard his fathers loud car coming down the street. He would run all the way home. I just didn’t understand why he would run away like that until the day it happened! I can’t tell you what happen before or why he was standing in our yard. This little boy told my grandmother that he was going to kill her because she was a n*****. At that age, I was suddenly confronted with an adult delima. This boy that would play with us in the afternoon and be kind to us wants to kill us because we are black. At that moment I understood why his father did not want my bike to touch his grass. Somehow, my bike would transfer my blackness to his grass and then to him. Needless to say after some time he and his family moved.

This was my introduction to being told that I was less than but it would not be my last. I experienced it a girl scout camp, in the community, and in college on several occasions. I share this story with hopes that people who don’t look like me can understand the feeling behind being treated like you are less than human just because you are black. The color of my skin has nothing to do with who I am or the path that God has given me. Learn to see people for who they are and not the color of their skin. We have to understand that there are good and bad people of all races. We must embrace that loving people is what God intends no matter their life circumstances. Everyone is born with a gift and calling. Some may choose to walk away from that path and some may choose to embrace it. No matter the circumstance I matter. My children matter. Black Lives Matter.

T. Sherrell

Pandemic Connections

A few months ago I started on my journey of creating relationships. Well, as you all know the pandemic came and Shut US in yall!!!!! I thought that I would have to put cultivating relationships on hold. Guess what! That is not the case. In the mist of this pandemic, I have become a part of an amazing network of women who are high stepping on their path of BECOMING. They are taking what they have and developing products, starting new businesses, mentoring through Facebook, and making plans for expansion. The most amazing thing about this network is the support that we give one another. We share each others post, buy products to help reach goals and listen to wisdom through Facebook live. What I love the most is that the support is genuine. Genuine connections with others is definitely a part of BECOMING. These connections help you reach your destiny so you can help others do the same. Thank you so much ladies for allowing me to be a part of you lives. I am really enjoying developing relationships with you.

T. Sherrell

That Growth Mindset! You Have Time!

I have been home for six weeks! Most of that time has been spent at my dining room table typing and zooming with students. Tonight I begin to think, What am I doing to increase my growth mindset? I define growth mindset as the process of increasing the attitude you hold about you. Last week I took the time to sit back and evaluate my growth mindset. I realized that my growth mindset is connected to my destiny. In order to get where I am suppose to be I must put myself in the position to continue to grow in every area of my life. Today, I challenge you to take this time to evaluate your growth mindset. What have you started and stopped? What have you put to the side that you know you are supposed to do? Today is the day that you get your mindset in place to reach your destiny. Today is the day that you start your mindset to BECOMING!

T. Sherrell

Finding Moments of Joy

Can you believe I had to stand in line for toilet paper! Yes, I stood in line in Walmart at the tissue store (yes! they created a store within a store.) to get a pack of 16.99 tissue plus tax!!! As I walked out of Walmart, I begin to think about Joy. In a world that is full of news reports, deaths, and rising numbers of Corona virus, I have to find moments of joy. Today, my moment of joy is that I have the money to buy tissue. I have a car and gas to get to Walmart and, I have food to eat. I know that our current situation is far beyond anything that we would have ever imagined. Life from education to employment to interactions have changed so much. In the midst of that, you have to find joy. I contact my children and family more just to check on them. I provide encouragement by any means that will allow me to keep my connections while remaining safe. All of these are moments of joy that I have embrace during such a tumultuous time. Part of BECOMING is being the person that leads the way. Today I am encouraging everyone to find a moment of joy in your everyday life. These moments remind me of why I do what I do. Stay strong, find a moment of joy and keep BECOMING.

T. Sherrell

Being Intentional

As I sit at my dining room table/office, the words being intentional came to mind. Being intentional about relationships means making efforts outside of what you would normally do.

Yesterday, I was thinking about the ladies that I met ,at the Women of Worth meeting, when I received a message. We started talking back and forth about not being able to see one another. We talked about how we are ready to meet again once it’s safe. I am learning that I am a very cautious person when it comes to developing relationships. At times, I am to loyal when the relationship is not healthy for me. Why am I that way? Well…………………

I came to the conclusion that the fear of being hurt is the tree but the feeling of abandonment is the root. My goal this week is to be intentional about my new relationships so I can conquer the fear of being hurt. I know what you are saying! You can’t avoid being hurt! But, you can conquer the fear. It’s the fear that causes me to isolate myself, imagine all the things that could go wrong, and replay that over and over again. This fear of being hurt is tied to events of my past and expectations of others in my present. I have to confront this internal issue because it hinders my road to BECOMING.

You see, part of BECOMING is the process of identifying those events of the past and present that affect your journey toward reaching your destiny. Confronting them gets you one step closer to your your goal. No matter what may come, continue to learn and keep BECOMING. Your destiny is waiting for you.

T. Sherrell

Meaningful Relationships

Today I took a big step! I attended a group to meet new people. For some, this may not seem like a big deal. For me, it is one of those internal issues that I have to overcome. You know how they say you don’t know who your friends are until you go through a dark place. That dark place not only showed me who my friends were but, caused me to be apprehensive when developing new relationships. The first time I moved to a new city, three years ago, the only person I knew was my then boyfriend (now husband). I was blessed to develop amazing friendships with the ladies in my department. These relationships continue to this day. It was easy because we worked together.

Fast forward two years later. I am in a new state in the same position. This time, there is not a natural connection to lean on. I have to step outside of myself and make purposeful connections with other women. When I was invited to the Women Who Thrive initial meeting for my area, I was excited and apprehensive. I had to remind myself that it is OK to be open and vulnerable. I have to give other women the opportunity to create a friendship with me. I cannot allow past hurts to shut off developing meaningful relationships with amazing women. Today was truly amazing. I am looking forward to our meeting next week. Intentionally building meaning and trusting relationships. It may not be easy but, it is part of the road to BECOMING!

T. Sherrell

Transition 2.0

I have been through so many transitions since 2015. Those transitions included up, downs, hurt, and love. Transition 2.0 is different. This transition has me in a place of waiting for that next step. This next transition, has to be purposeful and specific. Each step relies on the next which ultimately helps me continue to walk on that path of BECOMING! I can truly say that I am stepping out into venues that I never thought possible. As I continue to BECOME, I realize that I do have a voice, it is important and it will lead me to my destiny! Keep BECOMING!!!!

Your Slate

What is a slate you might ask?

A slate contains the instructions you live your life by. Your slate can included your goals and dreams, family, children, and even the trying times in your life.

Why is your slate important?

Your slate is important because it guides you on your journey toward your destiny. It’s the place where you write and erase on you journey to BECOMING.

What do I do with my slate?

Well! You maneuver it so that it guides you in the direction you should go. Sometimes you have to erase people, events, or situations that leave you in a mess. The great thing about a slate is, it can be wiped clean. You can re- write dreams, end toxic relationships, move to a new city, start a business or, go back and finish that degree. Your slate has endless amounts of space to create what you are suppose to be.

What do I do next?

Evaluate your slate. Wipe clean all the things that hinder you from BECOMING. Before I went to bed last night my slate was full to the point that I felt stressed. I just wanted to cry. I was feeling overwhelmed and wanted to give up on my desire to help others BECOME! I took some time to get my slate to-geth-er!!!! This morning, I have adjusted my slate. I realized that if it leads to my destiny it is suppose to be there. I just have to keep adjusting and BECOME!

T. Sherrell

Expectations

Expectations are defined as a strong belief that something will happen. We expect the sun to rise and set. We expect the moon to shine bright at night. What happens when we have expectations of others they cannot fulfill? Are our expectations unrealistic? Is the person in a internal place to give us what we need? I am learning that what I expect in a relationship may not be what the other person expects to give. Sometimes, their actions may be perceived as negative because of the internal conflict or past events in my life This year I am evaluating all of my expectations in every relationship. I want to be sure that I am looking at relationships through a pure lens and not a lens of self doubt, fear, hurt, and insecurity. Have conversations to clarify expectations and make sure you are looking through an objective lens. Only then can you start to create relationships that grow into something beautiful. Keep BECOMING!

T. Sherrell