The Fear of BECOMING

This morning, I was sitting in the car listening to the radio while my husband was in the barber shop, suddenly I had a thought. Do I have a fear of BECOMING? As I pondered this thought, I begin to think about what others have said I am. I’m ugly, my clothes are not fly, my hair should look better, you are nerdy and a list of many other negative statements. These are the things I use to hear about who I am. Instead of standing in who I was BECOMING, I internalized those thoughts. Those internal thoughts created the fear of becoming who I was destined to be.

Over the years, I have stepped out in several areas that allowed me to use my gifts and talents. I would go so far then become fearful to take that next step, standout, speak loud, or be proud of who I was. All because I allowed what others thought of me to shape the destiny that was already created, ready, and waiting for me from the beginning of time. All I had to do was STEP on fear to see me. The truth is, my short comings, missteps and mistakes were always on the path of me becoming who I was destined to be. I had to see me, embrace me and walk in that destiny. Today, I want to encourage you to block out what people think of you. STEP on fear so you can begin to walk on your path of BECOMING. Begin to write your goals and dreams. Make a plan, then take a step. It’s time to kick the butt of fear and BECOME!

TSherrell

That Thing

That thing! That thing that rears it’s ugly head because you are trying to keep peace. You don’t want to rock the boat or say how you truly feel because you are concerned about the other person. This week I learned that even in these situations you have to choose you. I chose to keep someone around me that continued to say negative things about me covered with friendship. I decided the best course of action was to slowly distance myself. A quiet unfriending of sorts. Well! They crossed a line that sent me to100! Needless to say, it did not end well. I have been quietly pondering why things happen the way they did. I realized this situation hit a nerve of the past. I felt bullied and pushed into a corner. As a child, when these situations would occur, I would cry and wonder what I did wrong. I always wanted people to be my friend even when they were negative towards me. This time, I came out like a lion because I refused to be bullied as a adult. Part of becoming is learning to be honest with people and defining relationships once you identify that they can become toxic. Everyone can’t be your close friend. It is ok to define relationships so that they are healthy for you. For me, this bump in the road helps me to continue to drive home the message of becoming the best you, you can be. This message will truly be one that I use when forming new relationships in the future. Remember, everything in life is a lesson to help us become our best self. These lessons will truly help you to keep BECOMING!

T. Sherrell

Lost Love

I have been purging my home for the last three weeks to prepare for our move. While purging, I found several books that I purchased and partially read. My sister in love (Amanda) shared a book suggestion with me today that really got me thinking. Why do I purchase books and never finish reading them? Anyone that has known me from childhood knows that I have a love for reading and buying books. Even in college, I bought books in anticipation of the story that would unfold on each page. What happen to my love for books? I allowed a connection to alter what I loved. Instead of embracing who I was, I embraced who a connection wanted me to be. Part of becoming is picking up those hobbies that you loved and allow them to flourish in your life again. What do you love that you don’t do anymore? Take some time to reintroduce that part of you again. As I continue on this journey, one thing I have learned is that sometimes I allowed things for the wrong reasons. Sometimes you have to continue to embrace who you are and who you are called to be. Enjoy it, embrace it, and keep becoming.

T. Sherrell

Connection Change

Today I have been thinking about connections and how those connections can change who we become. My thoughts drifted to my internal self. I asked myself if who I am as a wife now, is different than before. I have grown a lot as a wife and a woman but, were there elements of that goodness before. The answer is yes. The difference is the connection. Connections can either build who you are and allow you to continue to grow or, tear you down and put you in a place of being stagnant. In order to BECOME, you must connect yourself to people that allow you to grow and assist in that growth. For me, not growing changed who I was. It caused me to feel stuck. I had convinced myself that the place of stuck was my life and I had to settle because I had no control of what happen to me. Although my freedom was a difficult road, I know that I am on the right path to accomplish my destiny. BECOMING takes you being strong enough to disconnect from the connections that hinder you. You have to decide to plug into connections that will push you toward your destiny. Is it hard? Yes! Is it necessary? Yes! Making the decision to BECOME means making hard choices. Your destiny awaits you! Keep BECOMING!

T. Sherrell

Continual Healing

I have faced a big issue for the last couple of days. The issue concerns my children so, I settled in my mind that it is the right thing to do. Do I need the issue resolved? Yes! Is it my right to have the issue resolved? Yes! Am I doing it completely with the right motive? No! A part of me wants to get back at the person even though what has to be done is right. The reality is, adding the wrong motive makes it wrong. As I continue to BECOME, I am learning that sometimes you have to release others from their obligation so that you don’t hinder the blessings that are on the way. Healing is a process. Sometimes we have to be the bigger person so that our healing process continues. Today, I let go of trying to fight for what is owed to me and my children. Why? Because I realize that I can get the court to enforce what I need or I can rely on The God that supplies all of my needs. No matter what I do, only God can change a person. I am going to put myself in a position to allow God to continue to bless me and my family. Part of BECOMING is knowing when to hold them and when to fold them. Today, I fold because I have already won! Keep BECOMING!

T. Sherrell

Resolution : Today I faced conflict. I didn’t feel like myself because I kept replaying the situation in my mind over and over again. I had to make a decision. I had to decide to deal with the conflict until I had a resolve. As I continue to BECOME, I have to identify what I need in order to move on. Part of becoming is identifying what you need and advocating for it until you get it. Resolution helps you learn, grow, and continue to BECOME.

T. Sherrell

Staying! Not Stepping

I  always hear people say step out! Take a chance! Don’t be afraid to see what happens. That is what I have been doing for the last three years.  I step out, I try, I see what happens, then step back. Yesterday, after taking to my cousin I made the decision to stay out.  I stepped and keep stepping.  It may be baby steps but, I am going to keep stepping and not go back.  In the past, doubt has caused me to step back from building my brand.  I doubted my ability, who I was and what I am called to do.  Now I am out here! Walking step by step.  Building so I can help others build and BECOME.  If you have stepped out and stepped back, I encourage you to step out just one more time.  This time keep walking until you get where you need to be.  Destiny is there waiting for you.  Keep BECOMING!

T. Sherrell

T. Sherrell

Hidden Pain

Why do we hide pain? We step out like we have it all together knowing we are a wreck on the inside. I have learned that healing is truly a process that takes time. The time for me may not be the same for you. My level of openness may be different than you’re. The avenue I choose to start my process might make others uncomfortable. You have to choose what is best for you because your healing is for you. We have to begin to turn away from what people think we should do and do what is best for our own healing. Being whole is truly a journey but it is worth the ride! Keep BECOMING!

# coming soon how we heal series!

The End

I started blogging in July 2015 out of my need to heal. Some said I shared to much. I say I shared the truth, what needed to be said not only for me to heal but to help others. I wanted to share the real and raw feelings of separation and divorce. Writing helped me dig into my then, present pain and dig myself out of the hole that I begin digging years ago. It allowed me to go down roads of past decisions and internal issues. dWritingallowed me to heal the places on the inside that were broken for so long. I learned that internal brokeness is the first place to find the real you. I have grown, healed, and continue to BECOME who I am suppose to be. As I continue to shift and change, I realize that writing is truly my passion. This platform was my first public endevor but, was only a manafestation of the desire in my heart since I was a child. This blog begin at a place of pain. It was a place filled with bags that were given to me, created by me, and created for me. Today I have cleaned out those bags, eleminated people, and found love. Today is the beginning of the new chapter, with new stories, and new love. I am transforming this blog but, The previous content will remain active so others can use my words to help them heal and BECOME who they were destined to be. This journey ends where another one begins. I will continue to BECOME and grow to be who I was always destined to be. Thank you to everyone for reading and sharing my journey with me. BECOMING is the beginning of your greatness.

T. Sherrell

A New Year

It’s a new year! Have you thought about an internal cleansing? Not one of those intestinal cleanse but, an internal issue cleanse. I started thinking about this last night when I encountered an internal issue. I thought the issue was rooted in what someone would not do for me. I tied that emotion to my self-worth. I pondered on the issue and pondered the feeling for a long time. I had to remind myself that all issues have a root and, internal healing starts with identifying the root. You may be thinking, “You have been working on yourself for so long that all the issues should be gone”. The reality is, internal issues arise over our lifetime. As we grow and continue to BECOME, we are able to tackle issues in a constructive way. I thought I had it together a few days ago but I realized the need to confront this issue. I had to find the root and deal with it. Once I identified it and talked about it, I was able to release the emotion. I had to remind myself that my self-worth is not tied to others but tied to how I see me. I want to encourage each of you to take an inventory of your internal self. Identify what issues you need to cleanse this year. You can make a list or even create a vision board to help you determine how you want to see yourself at the end of 2019. BECOMING is an ever-evolving process. You can’t stop just because another space filler (bandaid to cover the real issue) arises. You identify it, find the root, and heal.

T. Sherrell




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